I Can't Love Anyone But You
by dool-sville-passions
Summary: Nate Serena. Scandal and love. Their scared, but they don't know what their scared of. It's like they only know what love is with each other.


It was In the middle of University. This was their first year. Serena Van Der Woodsen was modelling and going to school. She attended New York University. She was beautiful and was a real socialite. She charmed anyone who laid eyes on her, and it was impossible to find anyone say that she wasn't the most beautiful girl they laid eyes on.

Nate Archibald decided to go to New York University also. He was focused on his education and was going out with Jenny Humphrey. They talked one night and worked out all their problems and decided to get back together. He had anything anyone could ever want, good looks, money, and education.

"Nate!" Serena yelled when she saw Nate walking on the side walk. "Serena! What are you doing here?" He asked. "I was just walking over to my agents office, I can't do a photo shoot next week because I have a exam." She explained. "Oh yeah, you model now. I saw on a bus the other day." Nate smiled. "Oh my god, thanks for calling me and making me fun of me not only if your mind but out loud for me to feel ashamed of? I can't defend my hideousness in your mind." Serena rambled.

He didn't understand why he hadn't called her. It seemed like Serena and Nate never talked anymore. They had both had a lot on their plates, and both of their lives were to dramatic to just call each other. It seemed like they weren't even friends anymore which was just sad because no matter how much time passed they would always be best friend. He remembered when he read the Gossip Girl blast that she had broken up with Carter, he wanted to call her and see how she was doing but it was right when he broke up with Bree. He still felt awful for her, and was happy that he saw her right than.

"You looked pretty." Nate said chuckling. She turned to him and hit him. "Your laughing at me!" She screamed. She had to start laughing when Nate tried to hide his face. "It wasn't that bad, and you're right my mind didn't even try to defend you." He said walking further from her before she hit him again. "You monster!" She said chuckling.

"So I hear you're going out with some clothing designer now?" He asked. "Well I don't know, we're just trying something new, but I don't know if I really like him. I want to focus on school and modelling. I don't think I'm really free for a boyfriend right now." Serena said. "You wouldn't have to make time for him if you really wanted to be with him S. He would just fit into your life." He said. She looked at him and smiled, "That actually makes sense. How about you? I read the blast about you and Jenny?"

"Yeah we're together right now." Nate explained. "Are you uncomfortable being single or something?" Serena smiled. "What is that supposed to mean?" He asked. "You always have a girlfriend! When are you ever going to get some time to do soul searching?" She said. "I do plenty of soul searching." Nate said starting to crack up. "Nate? Soul searching? I hate to break those words up so they didn't sound like a sentence. You don't say those two words in the same sentence." Serena laughed.

"You are just the worst kind of person." Nate said smiling. Serena looked down at her watch and she noticed the time. It was 8 o'clock she had to meet her agent at 7:30. "I'm sorry Nate, I'm late." She quickly gave him a hug. "Call me, we'll have dinner." "I will."

He really would.

--

"How did you manage to keep your apartment so damn clean?" Serena said shocked. "It's not that hard, you just have to actually care where you place things." Nate said. "Okay, I'm sure. What's your maids name?" Serena said as Nate started laughing. "No seriously, are you borrowing Darota or something?" "I really should do that." Nate said sitting down on the couch.

"How is Jenny?" Serena asked as she ran into Nate's room. "What are you doing?" He said as he tried to look into the room. "I'm just changing! Can I sleep over?" She asked.

That was one of the good things about Nate and Serena. They would always manage to be best friends no matter if they didn't call each other, talk to each other, or even see each other. It would never feel uncomfortable to confide and talk to Serena. She understood him, like he understood her. They were easy, hard, and scandalous, you could never define their relationship. Staying over at his house, or giving him a hug at a party, it wasn't awkward because it was them.

"Hell no Serena, you better not be stealing my clothes in there." Nate said getting up and walking into the room. Serena was wearing one of Nate's t-shirts and smiling. "Too late. Where are you going to sleep tonight?" She asked. "What are you talking about?" He said. "I'm sleeping in here." She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I think you're under the impression that you're at your house." He said pulling her out of them room and showing her his couch. "This is where you're sleeping tonight. Have fun!" He said going back into his room.

She ran after him just as he closed the room. "Open the door Nate, or I'll break it." She heard his scoff on the other side of the door. "I would love to see that happen." She tried hitting the door a couple of times and that made her hungry so she gave him. She ran into the kitchen and dropped a couple pots while trying to find the glasses. She wanted a cup of tea. "What the hell?" he came out to see her smiling while staring at the pots on the floor.

He had his shirt off and Serena looked up. "Why are you wondering you're house naked Nate?" She said as she started picking up at the pots. "I am not naked, you wish." He said rolling his eyes and laughing at the same time. "You're a clumsy idiot, I don't know how you dropped pots that were in the cabinet." He said watching her pick up the pots. "It's not my fault that you can't place pots carefully." She made tea and watched TV as Nate went back into the room to go to sleep. When it got late, she went into his room to go to sleep and she saw that he was sleeping with his shirt off.

She slept on the couch that night.

--

She caught her designer boyfriend making out with another girl that day. They we're kissing and she walked in and slammed the door shut and ran off. He called her phone a million times but she ignored all of his calls. She ran to Blair's house at 11 at night and talked to her about it first. She thought that something could actually happen with him, and she was disappointed that she always messes up every relationship in her life. Blair promised her that she wasn't doing anything wrong that all the guys were messing up with her.

Blair comforted Serena, and Blair pet Serena's hair as she cried on her shoulder. Serena was mad, sad, and scared. She didn't know what was wrong with her, and Blair promised her that she was perfect. Blair told her that there was someone in the world that was meant for her and everything that she's going through has just been for her and that person to fall in love. Serena was so beautiful but she didn't know she was and that was what made her more beautiful. Serena didn't even like this guy that much but it reminded her about her imperfections, insecurities, and fears.

Blair and Serena are sisters they are always there for each other. In tears, fears, and insecurities. Blair asked Serena to sleep over but Serena told her that she would come over first thing in the morning, she wanted to talk to Eric. They hugged and Serena left.

Serena went home and Eric was already asleep She changed into her PJ's and lay on her bed. It was late, but she couldn't sleep. She went into her purse to get chocolate that she had bought earlier that day and saw a key that Nate had given her. She grabbed the key and chocolate and walked over to Nate's house in her PJ's.

It was almost 1 am, when Serena opened the door to Nate's apartment. It was dark, so she locked the door, and walked over to Nate's room. She opened the door and saw him laying there and slid next to him. "Serena" he said opening his eyes. "Nate, Oh My God. I'm so sorry I didn't mean to wake you." She said. "It's okay. Are you okay?" He asked as he turned on the light stand. "No." She said and than he hugged her. "What's wrong?" Nate asked.

"You see that designer guy I was telling you about? Well I went into the studio today and he was kissing some girl." Serena explained. "I'm so sorry." Nate said. "It's not that I even liked him, I don't know. I just reminded me that I'm not what people expect from me. I can't be everything that everyone wants from me. I used to be okay with that, but I'm not." She said laying her head on the pillow. "Serena, I don't know about anyone else but I know about myself and I don't want you to be perfect. You wouldn't be yourself if you were perfect. You don't have to live up to what anyone wants you to be."

"I don't want to let anyone down." Serena said. "You're not. If you try to change yourself, you're letting yourself down." Nate stroking her hair. "Do you ever feel like your doing something wrong and you haven't done anything?" She asked. "Yeah. You're not doing anything wrong Serena." "Do you think something is wrong with me?" She asked. "You're perfect."

Than Serena kissed Nate. It was almost like she didn't know what she was doing. So when he kissed her back, it was almost like she had just realized what she'd done. She pulled apart for a second just to see what he looked like, and he had his eyes closed and it was like he thought he was still kissing her. So she kissed him again. She felt him fisting her hair is his hands, and she never wanted to run out breathe. When they finally did, and their lips were chapped from kissing so much, they looked at each other for a moment. Than Serena turned around and fell asleep.

Serena thought maybe Blair was right, maybe everything she was going through was to fall in love with Nate.

--

That's what made it hurt so much.

Jenny was smiling and holding his hand and she forgot to breathe. Nate didn't see her, he was smiling with Jenny and they kissed. She turned around and started to walk away until she heard Jenny yell "Serena!" So she turned and smiled politely and waiting for them to walk over to her because she couldn't go over there. "Hey Serena. You look beautiful." Jenny smiled. "You look beautiful, and I love the jacket." Serena said. She didn't want to look at Nate, but she knew he was looking at her.

Serena couldn't help but wonder what was he thinking? Was he mad at himself for being caught with Jenny? Did he think Serena was stupid for not pretending to not hear and keep walking? Was he mad at her for coming over that night? Was he happy with Jenny? Did he regret his decision for letting Serena ever stay that night? Did he want to be with Jenny and forget about anything that happened between them? Was he sorry that she had to be her right now? Did he think that it would be better off if Serena never had to see him and Jenny together and was fooled into thinking they would be together? Was he wondering if he should be with Serena? Did he want to be with Serena? What was he thinking?

"How is school?" Serena asked her. "It's going great. Just the other day, these girls were trying to pick on some younger girl and I stopped them. It was like I was a super hero, stopping crime. Of course it wasn't crime but they were like vicious animals. Preying on the girl's flaws, am I sounding a little animal planet? Should I stop?" Jenny said. Serena and Nate laughed. "That's great. I'm glad you're happy at that school." Was she really? At this point Serena didn't want Jenny to be happy. She didn't want things to be going good for her. Nate was a part of that. She didn't want Nate to make anyone else happy. "How about designing?"

"I don't know if you could say that that's going wonderful. I mean I handed out a couple of sketches to some companies and they said they would look at it, but you know how those companies are. I may never hear back from them." She explained. "Don't be stupid, of course you will. You're talented, you should make me a dress sometime." She smiled. "I would love to." Jenny said. "Okay, well I have to go see Blair, but call me." Jenny gave her a hug and she turned around.

She pretended to push a hair behind her shoulder and looked at Nate. Than she quickly turned around because she was scared he might look back.

--

"Serena, wait." He said when he went over to her house that day. "Why Nate? Wasn't it enough that I had to see you today, with Jenny?" She said turning around being closing the door in his face. "That wasn't my fault." He tried to explain. "How wasn't it your fault Nate? It wasn't your fault that we kissed and than I had to see you with her? I don't even know what I was thinking." Serena said. "Serena, I want to be with you. I just don't know what to say to her yet." Nate chased behind her. "Haven't you had enough opportunities to try? You don't want to be with me, you don't know what you want."

"That's not true. I want you." Serena quickly turned her heard to look at Nate. "You made me feel so stupid today, I can't do this two girlfriend thing with you again Nate? When are you planning on breaking up wit her." Serena asked. "Soon, I promise. She's just happy right now, with school and her family. She told me she loved me." Nate said slowly. "What did you say to her?" She asked. "I kissed her." He said following Serena to her room. "I don't want to hurt Jenny either, but don't you think if you want to be with me so much you're hurting her either way?" Serena asked.

"Yes, and that's the thing, I'm not going to be with her much longer." He said. "How do you know that? How do you know you're not going to change your mind?" Serena stopped in her door step. "Because I know what I want. I'm not going to change my mind."

She walked over to him and kissed him. She brought him over to her bed and sat in his lap and slowly took his jacket off. He looked at her and pushed her hair from her face. She put her hands in his hair and he had his hands in the bottom of her back, and she moaned when he kissed her neck. They had sex that night.

Nate was scared to blink in case he'd miss her.

--

She heard a knock on her bedroom door and she walked over to open it. She saw Nate standing there with a smile on his face. "What are you doing her?" She asked. "Let's get drunk." He said with a smile on his face.

She was laughing and she was all over him by the time she was on her sixth shot. "Tequila makes you crazy." He said laughing. She smiled and nodded. "You're crazy without the tequila." She said. "I'm not crazy, you are." He said. "How dare you! You're crazier than I could ever be! You go out with a different girl every day, you're scared of toe nails, and you can't admit to crying." He laughed and said, "I could never be as crazy as you! You make out with investment bankers, no one gets drunk quicker than you, and you try to drink rain." Serena started and laughing and said, "I was thirsty!"

"That's what you said the other three times too." Nate said shaking his head. They got their seventh shot, "I don't think I can handle you more drunk." He said. "I dare you to drink this." Serena said getting up. "Oh My God, I'm going to have the worst hang over in the morning." She said laughing. He drank it because she did and they both yelled, "Ahh!" Nate laughed because he knew they were very drunk and it was almost stupid to be drunk with Serena.

He's done this so many times. He's been in this same spot, looking at this same girl, thinking the same thing. He doesn't think he's ever felt this way about anyone other than Serena and Blair. He doesn't know why, but he doesn't think he ever will. He wonders why she's so pretty, and why he wants her so much. He's scared that she won't want him one day because she'll find someone better than him, or she won't like him anymore because he's not good enough for her. He knows she'll always be everything that he wants, he doesn't have to wonder about that.

They leave after they're scared to get any more drunk and he is going to walk her home. "Can I ask you something?" She says. "What?" He says. Serena is obviously drunk so she could ask anything. "Why are you with her?" Serena says. "I don't know, I like her." He answers. "Don't you like other girls?" She asks. "No, I like her." He responds. They are close to her house and they hold hands because they want to. "Are you trying to ask me if I like you?" Nate says smiling. She pushes him when they get to the front of the palace hotel.

"You're crazy, because you like me."

--

Her back is against the wall and she's moaning in his ear. He can't believe that this is happening, he's almost scared that he won't ever to hear this sound again. "Nate." She whispers so quietly that he almost wouldn't be able to hear her if he wasn't kissing her neck. Suddenly she pushes him away, and she's trying to find her coat. "What are we doing?" Nate's shocked so he quickly answers, "Nothing. Yet." She laughs as she puts her coat on, and says, "We're at a movie premier Nate. All our friends are here, Jenny is here."

She walks away and he holds onto her. "I don't want to go back." He whines. "Well we are. I'm not doing this is in a coat closet Nate!" She says. "We could just stay here." He says. Serena rolls her eyes and says, "As if nothing would happen." She starts to walk away as she hears, "You don't trust yourself?"

They walk back in and Serena sits beside Blair and Chuck. Their arguing again so Serena has to sit in between them. She feels popcorn hitting her head, and Blair throwing chocolate. "Are you guys going to throw stuff at each other the whole time?" Serena asks looking at Chuck. "Waldorf started it, I can't stand stupid arrogant people." Chuck scowls at her. "I started it? I can't stand dumb lying idiots." She smiles satisfied with her insult. "It's not my fault that you don't know how to play a game." He says. "I know how to play a game, I just don't know how to lose, not that I was going to lose anyway."

Serena looks over to where Nate is sitting with Jenny, and his arm is around her. She scowls at him, it doesn't matter that he can't see her. She's upset that he's touching her when he told her in the coat closet, that it doesn't feel right when he's not with her. She's wondering if she's jealous or scared. She's scared, scared to lose him or scared to get him or scared for someone else. When is he going to break up with Jenny and be with her? She feels like a bad person because she's being selfish but she's always selfish with Nate.

She feels a popcorn hit her in the face, "Sorry sis." Chuck says and throws another one and it ends up in Blair's hair. Blair starts throwing Smarties at him, and Serena can't stop looking at Nate. She finds her cell phone out of her purse, and texts him. **I'm sorry. Come meet me outside. **She watches as he feels his cell phone vibrate in his pocket and looks at her, he smiles and she watches him text back. **No you have to work for me. **Serena gets her text and laughs, she pouts at him and responds. **Pleaseeeeee? **She looks at Nate while he responds to her message and Jenny kisses him on his cheek. **Okay, but only because I miss you moaning in my ear. **

She smiled and looked at him, and he smiled. He was about to get up, when Jenny pulled his hand and kissed him. She was already up and she watched them kiss. She was upset that he was kissing back, and kept walking. She wasn't worried that he wouldn't come. She turned around and saw him walking towards her.

He always comes.

--

"I'm going to break up with you if you don't break up with her." Serena told him. "You can't break up with me we're not even together." Nate told her as he opened the door to let her in. She probably saw the latest Gossip Girl post with him and Jenny kissing with snow falling all around them. "Aren't we?" She asked coming in. "Do you want some hot chocolate?" He asked. "No what I want, is Jenny's sad crying face on Gossip Girl!" Serena said sitting down.

"Don't be too excited about a break up." He said laughing. "I'm not excited I just want to be with you. I want to take a walk holding your hand, or kiss you under mistle toes, or be on Gossip Girl with you!" She said looking very sad. "We're going to have that. Don't worry." He said sitting beside her. She sat on his lap and said, "You promise?" "Yes." He said kissing her. "How come I've heard this promise before than? So many times before. You haven't tried to break up with her once." She said still close to his lips.

"I just haven't found the right time." He explained. "Isn't this bothering you? I thought this was making you as mad as it was making me? I didn't think you wanted to hide being with me but do you?" She asked looking at him shocked. "Of course I don't. S that's the last thing I want to do." She got off his lap and stood up. "Than why is she still so damn peachy if you want to be with me so freaking bad?" She yelled. "Serena breaking up with someone is hard. Especially when that person is so happy, and you don't want to hurt them." He said. "Okay so it's okay to hurt me." She started to walk away.

"Serena, wait." He said getting up. "No, I'm done." He looked shocked and said, "What?" "I'm done with you, with this relationship, with whatever the hell is going on between us. I'm done. I don't want to talk to you anymore." She left.

He knew she said it but she could never mean it.

--

"You're here with her? Are you serious?" She said staring at Nate outside the grand hall. "Don't look so surprised S, you said you were done with me." He said leaving. She grabbed his arm and brought him in front of her again, "Yes, but you don't have to have her here waving her in front of me." She yelled. "Well I was invited to this ball too Serena, and because of that so was my girlfriend. So I'm going to back in there and be with her now." He walked away and left Serena angry.

"Okay." She said and she walked over to a cute guy that was hitting on her all night named Sam. Serena brought him to the dance floor and did the Waltz right beside Nate and Jenny. "You are such a good dancer." Serena said loudly. "Thanks." He said smiling, he was very cute. "Really Serena?" Nate said when their shoulders brushed. She gave him a scowl and smiled. "Hold on for one second Jenny, I have to talk to Serena for a second." He left Jenny on the dance floor and went over to where Serena and Sam were dancing.

"Excuse me, I have to talk to her. Can I cut in for a second man?" He asked. Sam nodded and walked away. "What are you doing? I don't want to talk to you." Serena said upset. "That's obvious but what are you doing dancing with some guy to make me jealous?" Nate asked. "Who said it was to make you jealous? I like him." Serena stopped dancing with Nate and walked over to Sam and smiled.

Nate looked at Serena from across the room and signalled her with his eyes to meet her outside. She shook her head for a second, and he pleaded her with his eyes, and she looked at her date and he knew she would come. He made an excuse with Jenny and waiting for her outside. When she came looking furious, he pulled her into a coat room. "I'm getting really tired of being in these things with you." She said. "I'll break up with her tonight Just stop doing this." All of a sudden Serena wasn't so mad anymore because she knew Nate wanted her. He kissed her. "I've never felt like this before."

She said it quietly so they could pretend it never happened the next day.

--

"You actually did it?" She screamed. "Yes." He smiled and he kissed her. "Does she know you guys broke up?" Serena asked quickly when they broke apart for air. Nate laughed and said, "I think so." She kissed him this time and she looked up and the sky was so dark, it was almost midnight. "It's late, do you want me to take you home?" He asked her. "No, I just want to talk to you." She smiled and kissed him again.

"I've wanted to be with you for so long Serena. I'm so sorry everything was so messed up. You've always been the only one I've ever wanted to be with." He said and he held her hand. She smiled shly and said, "I've always wanted you. I acted so stupid. I'm so sorry."

They stopped in the steps of the met, and he kissed her.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

It's midnight and they're kissing and they think they'll never be so in love.


End file.
